Dating or Something Like it In the Big Apple

Dating in New York, can be a little what's the word, perhaps frustrating, maybe even exhausting at times. Let's face it, there are a decent number of people carrying their fair share of baggage with them. and I'm not even talking about the carry-on or overnight bag kind. I'm talking about the old fashioned trunk that people of your grandparents' generation used to travel overseas for two months or even to come to America. I used to think that I had baggage before I started dating again. But let me tell you, dating again has been an eye opening experience.

And I know what you are thinking, this chick is about to go into a rant about men. But I'm not, because this is something that transcends gender. I've heard about these kinds of issues from my friends, but to be honest I really didn't believe it until I was back in the dating pool. I was shocked that that there were people out there that would transfer what issues they had with their exes onto whatever new person they would date. Take for example, one of my girlfriends had an ex that cheated, and every new guy she dates she expects the same behavior. She just automatically assumes that all men are dogs. Which really isn't fair, how can you assume that a whole gender will behave like that. How about an example from the other side? I recently went out on two dates with this guy. To be honest i'm not totally sure why I bothered with the second one. But he was a nice guy and I wanted to give him a shot. Anyway, his ex-girlfriend was very needy and clingy and he just assumed that I and every other woman he dated would behave the the exact same way.

The funny thing is that before these experiences I thought I had a lot of baggage. I thought this because there was a small part of me that still had resentment issues with my ex. But I never blindly assumed that all men are dogs. Call me naive perhaps, but my experiences with my ex made me think more that there was a nice guy out there for me. In some ways I think it gave me the ability to appreciate the nice guy more when he comes along. I know, I've heard that there aren't that many nice guys out there but you only need one. I think most women say that they want a nice guy, but they really don't because I've seen several girlfriends trample all over them. Anyway that's a whole different blog. Maybe I just need to find a nice guy that thinks the same way. You know that doesn't want a bitch and is willing to wait for nice girl. Every date I go on makes me want to wait for right nice guy.