Right Where I Belong

I've come to accept that there certain things in life that you'll only do with a little inspiration, sometimes a lot of it. Looking back on my personal life I've realized there were certain things that I only did after a little shove. Of course, I never would have known beforehand what that little shove would have been. And certainly nobody else would have either.

And of course what had inspired me to suddenly do something that I didn't want to do, wanted to put off doing or just plain scared to do varied. Sometimes it was something someone else did, and I said enough is enough. Like when I decided to quit my first full-time job, my supervisor told me I needed to grow some balls...two weeks later I decided to quit for a job I knew was worse. And it wasn't something that I took lightly, but at the time it felt like it was something that I had to do. It just felt like I was jumping off a diving board...there was just no other direction to go. It's very different from when you are being shoved between a rock and a hard place. Between a rock and hard place you'll just stay there rather than make a decision, at least in my own experiences.

Anyway I've gotten totally off the subject now... Another time was when I wanted to finish college. I overloaded on classes because I knew if I didn't finish that term I would just quit. The ironic thing was I think that might have been the highest term gpa I ever had. Hmmm let me see if I could think of anything else... Well this is kinda silly but there was the time I was hanging out at Mark's house with a bunch of friends... That idiot Jeremy was there... He was one of those idiots that after seeing a movie would explain every reason possible why it could never happen in real life... Anyway, we were bored and playing this silly game where you had clues and you had to guess who it was... And this turn the person was me and I said something that it made really obvious... So Jeremy decided it was cute to call me a bitch... Back then I was a lot more tempermental then I am now. After all I was only 17, so I spilled my soda all over him. Hey he was lucky that I didn't kick him in the nuts. Looking back, I guess at the time I was so mad I didn't think before I reacted. But I definetly learned from my experiences and I know now that I have enough control over my temper that I would never react like that.

It's weird how you learn from the little things that happen to you in life. What I've definetly learned through my experiences is that it's never wise to do something blindly without thinking about what you are doing first. Now I'm glad I made some rash decisions in my past experiences, I've learned what the reprussions are. And from that I've learned how to better control my reactions...