A Tree Grows in Brooklyn

Pitter Patter

2008-11-30T18:22:00.002-05:00

Pitter Patter...
All day I've been hearing you...
There you go again...
Pitter Patter...
How can something so small...
Make such a large noise...
Mr Pitter Patter...
Do you have any idea...
Of the effect you have...
How much you are needed...
But that doesn't always mean...
Everyone loves to see you...
I must admit sometimes I don't...
You make me so sleepy...
And you make me want to...
Spend all day in bed...
And just lay there...
Why must you take away...
My friend the sun...
Are you jealous of the way...
I love them so...
Or perhaps it's just...
A plea for attention....
Whatever it is could you just go away...
You non-stop pitter patter all day...
Is starting to give me a headache...

This Chick's Opinion

2008-11-30T13:05:00.002-05:00

I don't know why I'm suddenly thinking about this but recently one of my close girlfriends and I had this debate over the importance of chemistry. She had the attitude that people exaggerate the importance of chemistry when meeting someone new. As you probably already guessed I disagreed, at least somewhat. Yes there are things more important than physical attraction to build a solid relationship. A strong friendship and shared goals and interests are certainly much more important. But all that being said, you still need more than that to make a relationship work. No matter how much you have in common, if you don't want to so much as kiss the person sitting across from you there may be limited potential for a happy ever after. Chemistry alone won't get you through the tough times but it certainly will help you want to fight. At least that's my personal opinion.

Pitter Patter

2008-11-30T11:20:00.004-05:00

Right now I'm sitting here listening to the rain. The constant stream of pitter patter on my fire escape seems unending. It's been raining for hours and it's so dreary outside that I don't want to leave my nice warm apartment. Now that Thanksgiving has come and past Christmas and the encrouching New Year are on the horizon. I can't believe how quickly another year has come and past. I can't help but wonder what have I really accomplished this year. On each and every day did I wake up and do something trully productive. Or I am perhaps waking up everyday and going to a dead end job and allowing someone else to make money off the fruits of my labor. This year I just turned 31 and how much have I really trully accomplished since the ten years since I've turned 21. Over the last couple of years how many nights have I drowned away in an alcohol induced daze only to wake up the next day with a pounding hangover. How many nights have I wasted on bad dates that were going to nowhere. Heck most of them were with men that I didn't even want to kiss at the end of the night. Isn't the New York single life supposed to be filled with fun nights with the endless flow of alcohol that you don't have to pay for and good cheap hot sex with men you'll never see again. Anytime I've tried have great hot cheap sex something has gone horribly wrong. Maybe perhaps it's not for me. I guess it's just I've been by myself for so long now I'm just not sure I'm ready to give up my independence. But I really do want to start a family. Maybe I just haven't met the right person and when I do it will be easy for me to give some of my independence up.

My Revised Man List

2008-11-29T17:26:00.004-05:00

I decided after one of my girlfriends put together a list of qualities in a man that it has been too long and maybe it's time to revamp my list a little bit.

Personality:

1. Honest and Sincere - We'll Duh there's a reason they say that honesty is the best policy. I let you in on a little secret. Women would give men a break more often they men realize. It's when they try to cover up their mistakes with lies that get them in trouble. Trust me if you admit when you are wrong you'll earn major brownie points. That's what separates the men from the boys. Though I have to admit there are two things under no circumstance will I ever forgive. They are probably pretty obvious; cheating, and abusiveness (verbal and physical).

2. Trustworthy - If he's not someone that I trust to tell all my deepest darkest secrets to (not that I have that many. Let's face it I'm not too good at keeping things to myself. My biggest problem is that I have no shame. I tell everyone everything)

3. Faithful, Loyal and Dependable - It's important that the person that I'm with is there for the good times and the bad. I'm an incredibly loyal person, I expect the same from anyone that I date. And yes if you abuse it I recommend you start running quickly. Well I think this one is pretty obvious nobody wants to date a cheater.

4. Down To Earth - I may joke that I'm named after a Princess, but I must be honest I'm probably about as far from a Princess you can get. It's kinda ironic that I joke around about that because Prissy Princesses made my elementary school experiences horrid. In the second grade, I used to jump rope with the geeky boys that got picked last in sports. Therefore, I don't want to date a princess.

5. Upbeat - He must have a positive attitude and a high level of energy. He must be an energizer bunny like me.

6. Funny - He should have a good sense of humor, and how to make me laugh. And appreciate my corny jokes and wacky sense of humor.

7. Intelligent not an intellectual snob - Brains are important but they are not everything you shouldn't look down on other people. There's nothing worse than someone who belittles someone else.

8. Talkative - I understand guys like to chill in front of the tube and watch ESPN, when they first come home. But I love to run my mouth and I need to be with someone that will put up with it.

9. A little bit goofy, perhaps maybe more than a little - This relates to the similarities last thing, of all the Disney Characters I relate best to Goofy. Lets face I'm a klutz. I am the chick who tripped over her own foot playing kickball in fourth grade and knocked out a tooth. And besides there are some pretty stupid things that come out of my mouth.

10. Can put up my bad impressions and has a few himself (See the goofy thing above)

Personal Self/Beliefs

1. Passionate about Life - He must love being alive and jumping out bed every morning. Especially when he has someone as special as me in his life.

2. Self-respect - I've learned how important it is to be treated with respect in a relationship, and expect whoever I with to understand that too. I don't want to be with a doormat.

3. Self-Confidence - Read not cocky. He should be comfortable enough to approach me. I'm not that hard to talk to. See above: Down to earth.

4. Knows the importance of self-development. You are never gonna get anywhere in life if you are not constantly growing mentally and emotionally.

5. Comfortable with himself - A guy should be comfortable with himself. I don't want to be with someone who wants to pretend to be someone else. It's one thing for a man to have all the qualities on this list, but another for him to use them. I'm mature enough to look behind the outside on a guy and see the man on the inside, but it's not do me or him any good if he cannot see it himself. This for those nice guys that pretend they are assholes, because they think that's what all women want. Sorry but only immature girls that want assholes, real women have enough self-respect to wait for a nice guy.

6. High Integrity - I want to be with someone that sticks to their guns. When I believe in something or someone I stick to it in thick and thin. I expect the same from anyone that I would have a relationship with.

7. The ability to Forgive - We all make mistakes from time to time. He may need the ability to look past some of the stupid things I say. One of my friends refers to them as backhanded compliments. And I'm sure he'll do some stupid things I'll have to look past. That's what a relationship is give and take.

8. Humble and Modest - I guess this may be another way of saying down to earth. But I figure it can't hurt to have it twice. Basically what this means is that his feet are planted firmly on the ground. Arrogance doesn't impress me much.

9. Has a high level of energy - I'm like the energizer bunny, so anyone I date should be able to keep up with me.

10. Handles Stress with ease - I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Life is too short to get stressed out over the small stuff.

11. Patience - Can we say duh yet again? Who wants to be with someone that's impatient. When they say patience is a virtue, whoever they are is right.

12. Has control of his temper - Let's face it angry people aren't fun.

13. Understands that a Real Man doesn't have to be a Macho Man- This is probably pretty self-explanatory. A real man doesn't always have to prove his masculinity every minute of the day. Manhood is not defined by how much money you make, what car you drive or how many women he's slept with. It's what on the inside that counts.

14. Understands that money is important but doesn't see the value of flashing it around.

15. Good Communicator - Another Duh! Who wants someone with bad communication skills. It's very important for someone to be able to talk and express themselves to have a relationship that works.

16. Is an optimistic realist - Another words he lives in the real world, not a fantasy world. But at the same time he sees things through rose colored glasses.

When in a Relationship

1. GETS ME - I guess what that means is a strong connection. You know one of those couples that can communicate without talking, you know can exchange a conversation with a few glances. I've always wanted to have a relationship with that type of connection with someone, and never have... You know chemistry, I think it's one of the most important parts of a relationship. Without it a relationship is doomed from start.

2. Capable of Interdependency in a relationship - Let's face it's the best of both worlds: dependant and independent.

3. Encourages me to be a better person and better myself - Do I really need to explain this doesn't everyone want this?

4. Open-minded - He must be willing to try things that I'm interested in once in awhile even if he hates it. If I can put up with his sports games, he can put with whatever silly interests I have, too. Maybe we can even find a silly one we'll both share.

5. Courteous and Respectful - Another one that doesn't everyone want? It's one of those things that goes both ways.

6. Accepts me as I am - If you truly love a person you like them as they are and you don't want to change a thing about them. I don't want to be with someone that I want to change either.

7. He's a gentleman - I'm a modern woman but it's still nice to have a man who opens doors and helps you put your coat on. It's about respect and it's little things that add up. I never realized before I was such a traditionalist. I guess underneath all I'm a hopeless romantic.

8. Good Listener - Not only is being talkative important but so listening. Otherwise it's just nothing more than a one way conversation.

9. Handles conflicts well - Who wants to be with someone that can't handle conflict?

10. Able to Express Emotions - It's important in relationship for the person to be express how they feel. Just like a man is not a mind reader neither is a woman.

11. Flexible - For any long term relationship to work it's important for both people to compromise. If not the relationship just won't work.

12. Romantic - Do I really need to explain? Just in case. A man should understand the value of romance in a relationship. And I don't mean buying overpriced roses. I mean the little gestures like remembering the little things like surprising me with one of my many favorite sweet treats, or a foot massages.

13. Knows how to find my warm fuzzy side - I guess this is a continuation of the last one. He'll have to go through layers of ice, regrettably. Yes there is a very warm fuzzy hopeless romantic in here. Yeah I hate to admit but I'm a closet hopeless romantic. Please don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to protect.

Goals And Dreams

1. Believes in the importance of Freedom both personal and financial. They are two of my biggest goals in life. Anyone that I would have a significant relationship with would have those goals too.

2. Dreams Big- He must be ambitious and have definite goals. He must have lofty dreams like me. If you can't be able to dream what do you have to live for. He must think there are better things to do in this world than become a couch potato.

3. Dedicated and Ambitious - I think this has been said before too, but again it doesn't hurt to repetitive. I respect someone who has ambition and goals in life and believes they can be successful.

Personal Values/Interests/ETC

1. Good Personal Hygiene - Duh, nobody wants to date someone that smells like the creature that's been stinking up the A train.

2. Understands the importance of culture. Enjoys art museums, plays and musicals, and music. Just imagine how empty this world would be without that stuff. If we want to encourage it's growth, we must support it.

3. Treat my family the way you expect me to treat yours -- Duh if you can't give my family respect I'm not gonna give any to yours. I know they are pains in the ass, in fact I'm the person to say it. But if you feel free to talk about mine, in fact I really don't care if you do, they do a lot to deserve it. But expect to hear me talk about yours when they are wrong, too. Turn around is fair play.

4. Is somewhat of history buff, we must learn from the past otherwise we are doomed to repeat it.

5. Likes To Clean - Someone is gonna have to clean up my messes in the Kitchen. After all, I'm not always so good at it. You know that whole ying and yang thingie.

6. Has a sweet tooth - I have a mouth full of them, he should have a few too. Besides he should appreciate my homemade chocolate chip cookies.

7. Loves to travel --Both here and overseas. I've always wanted to drive cross country. Actually I'd love to just throw a couple of bags in the trunk and hit the open road with no destination in mind. To me that's just ultimate freedom. Overseas obviously the usual Europe (Italy, France, England, Scotland, Holland, yadda, yadda,yadda), Australia, New Zealand (Yes, the Lord of the Rings did inspire me to wanna go there, but who could see the scenery in that movie and not want to go there), the usual Caribbean beaches, hmmm I think I need something more exotic. I'll have to come up with something.

8. Has a spiritual side to him, but not's religous.

9. Believes that there should be places where nature should be left alone and appreciated. Humans weren't put on this planet to destroy and deplete all it's resources. Wow did I just write that, I'm starting to learn a lot about myself.

10. Knows how to fix things or how to call to call someone who can -- Do I really need to explain this? If you can't fix it be man enough to call someone that can.

11. Like me is tired of opposites attract and is looking for a similarities last thing. In other words he's looking for someone that has a lot of these things too.

12. Reads this whole list and still isn't intimated by dating me. I know it's long. When can I say this time around I've decided not to settle. And my ideal man wouldn't want to settle either. Hopefully he has list just as long that I fit. Also realizes when he reads it that it's him. Oh and he also doesn't pick on my terrible spelling and grammar.

Optional Upgrades - Wouldn't it be cool if we could factory order new boyfriends like new cars. You know factory build with optional additional features. Unlike the other section section these are just as I think of them. I'm weird, I know I've been told, but then again what exactly is normal?

1. Beach house complete with tiki bar, huge deck, jacuzzi, and outdoor pool table.

2. Likes to play pool ---Is that a surprise after #1

3. Likes to share sunsets with someone special ---again is that a surprise after #1.

4. A house along a lake wouldn't hurt either like in Maine or Vermont couldn't either.

5. Appreciates the little things like feeding the ducks, shouldn't be a surprise after number 4. Besides they are so cute and fuzzy.

What if?

2008-06-26T09:49:00.000-04:00

Recently I saw a movie preview where instead of missing her train she caught it. And that one event changed her entire life. I couldn't help but think how realistic it is. Cause let's face it, how often does something like that happen where one little event could perhaps change everything. There are lots of these moments that have happened throughout history. If they didn't alternative history books wouldn't be so popular. Where I going with this? I guess sometimes wonder what if one or two moments happened differently. Would things be different, could they perhaps be better or maybe even worse. I know we aren't supposed live back with regret. And I wouldn't say it's regret, because I can think for the most part things turned out better. But I guess there are one or two moments that perhaps make me do a small gut check. They say in life there's a reason that you make certain decisions or that certain things happens. Let's face it there's something to learn from everything and everyone.

Rambling Thoughts...

2008-06-26T09:28:00.001-04:00

I'm sitting here thinking of you...
Are you there thinking of me...
Like me are you sitting there...
Asking could things have different...
Could they have had a better outcome...
Or just accept this is the way things to be...
Could it really just be bad timing...
Perhaps there's more there...
Or maybe what it comes down to...
Is just that we just didn't want to fight for it...
I know you don't want to hear that...
But it is true and the truth hurts...
I know you think you are fighting...
But what you are doing is hiding...

All It takes

2008-05-14T14:05:00.003-04:00

All it takes is...
Only one parting glace...
A smile from across the room...
One pair of eyes that twinkle...
Like the brightest star in the sky...
One word from you...
For my pulse to race...
My knees to be weak...
Just the thought of you...
Makes my heart beat aflutter...

Crystal Blue Persuasion

2008-05-13T11:10:00.001-04:00

Whenever I stare at a crystal blue wave...
The very thought of you crosses my mind...
Memories of the your beautiful blue eyes...
Flood my mind like a crashing ocean wave...
Whenever your eyes gazed upon me it felt...
Like you could read my very soul...
Whenever you looked at me shivers...
Ran up and down my spine...
Memories still linger of that first time...
That I looked deep into your eyes...
I felt your unwavering stare from across the room...
And you that you desired to touch and hold me...
From your unwavering stare I knew...
That you understood that I felt the same way...
But I couldn't act on my desires then...
Since my heart still belonged to another...
And I never got to tell you how I felt...
Now that my heart no longer belongs to them...
I wish had expressed to you my deepest desires...
Cause I no longer see your stares from across the room...
All I have is the memory of your crystal blue eyes...

Dear Mr. Grocery Check Out Boy

2008-05-13T09:22:00.002-04:00

I just have one question for you. Why must you only put one item in each plastic bag so when I leave I'm stuck carrying 20 seperate bags? Don't get me wrong I appreciate that you want to protect my bananas from getting squashed. But don't you think that is taking it a little bit too far?

Inspiration

2007-12-05T22:28:00.001-05:00

Forever Friendship

2007-12-05T22:06:00.000-05:00

Let's Get It On... Jack Black Style

2007-11-06T00:51:00.001-05:00

Amazed...

2007-11-06T00:44:00.000-05:00

Watch Out for the Wave

2007-11-05T16:15:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been about a year since I started writing this blog here. And when I think about how much has changed since I first started it blows my mind. Fundamentality my life seems the same, but below the surface there's been one of those tsumai waves. Of course the wave hasn't landed at the shore yet so nobody can really see the changes. But that's what's funny about a tsumai you think it suddenly erupts, while it's been there evolving and expanding all that time. Sometimes our lives are the same way.

Puff the Magic Dragon

2007-11-05T16:07:00.000-05:00

I can't believe how long it's been since I've posted here. Perhaps I've just been lazy or just distracted. I know, I know I get distracted too easily. No I never did smoke pot. Alright I smoked it once, but I didn't inhale. Actually I'm serious I couldn't breathe the stuff in. I really did try too, I tried so hard that I choked. Perhaps you don't believe me because I can barely believe it. But I swear it's true, I sat there in my friend's car. I took a puff and I felt nothing. Then he told me I didn't inhale. So took another puff, so hard that I started choking still feeling nothing. I actually I did feel something, but it wasn't a high. So that's my experience with pot. How did we even get on this topic again?

Dream on

2007-08-24T09:32:00.000-04:00

There's something about this song. I've always felt an emotional response from it. Maybe because it's about moving on from the past. I think everyone can relate to that. Even when I first heard this song as a teenager I related to this song. And I can't quite explain why. The funny thing though is there isn't a particular line that sticks out me. A lot times with a song that I respond to there's a particular line that sticks out in my mind. But in this this particular case there's no one line that inspires me. Perhaps it's just message of moving on and forgeting about yesterday that inspires me.

Completely Off the Wall

2007-08-24T09:25:00.000-04:00

I know that haven't blogged here in ages. I could lie and say it's because life's been too hectic. But like I said that would be a lie. To be quite honest I'm not sure why I haven't been blogging. I could also lie and say that it's because I don't have anything to write about. But that would be yet another lie. After all I am the chick that can write a whole blog dedicated to the crashing waves. And yes I do still work here over at the edge of brooklyn on Kingsboro's campus. Why have I suddenly stopped blogging about the ocean? Yet again I'm just not really sure. I guess I don't have that many answers. They say the teenage years are the years of unanswered questions. But it seems for me the late twenties are too. And it seems that the questions are well a lot harder. At least for me. And no that's not a Pink Floyd reference in the title. Haven't you figured out yet that other than one or two songs I'm not a fan.

The Looking Glass

2007-08-15T11:16:00.000-04:00

It seems lately liked I've walked into bizarro world. Do remember the episode on Seinfeld where Elaine met a group of friends that everyone was the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Krammer? No I didn't meet a group of friends that were the exact opposite of some I already had. But it seems like lately the world around me as well turned sorta upside down, kinda like the scene in Alice in Wonderland when the whole house turned backwards. And I didn't eat any strange mushrooms. Yes, I know what your next question is I didn't take any funny pills, especially any that supposely make me bigger or smaller. I'll give you a minute or two for the mandatory short joke you'll make to yourself. Where was I before I took a trip through the looking glass. I want to leave before Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dumb show up. Not to mention I doubt the Queen of Hearts would be much fun either. Oh I remember now Bizarro World, and how everything seems upside down. I think everyone has had a time in their lives where they can relate to that. What exactly is upside down you ask? Let's just say nothing makes any sense and sometimes lately it feels like I accidently walked onto a movie set.

Perplexing Thoughts...

2007-08-15T10:35:00.000-04:00

I just realized how long it's been since I've blogged. It's kinda funny for so long I had been blogging so much and now suddenly it's been over a week since I've written a blog. Not even one on the sparkling water, and I've even seen my friends the swans. Needless to say I'm a little surprised by my sudden lack of inspiration. For months on end I was writing about the shiny sparkling water, and now when I look at it, well, I'm just not inspired to write. I look at the water and simply no words come to my mind. It was like something suddenly snapped and the water just didn't inspire me anymore. To be honest I'm a little disturbed because I'm not quite sure why. Right now when I look at the water all I feel is well, frustration. In some ways it's as if the water is a person or something like that and we got into this bad fight. Everytime I see the water for the last week or two I walk off in a huff. And I can't understand why, maybe perhaps it's something symbolic or something.

The Right Direction is everything

2007-08-06T09:36:00.000-04:00

Forest Gump said life is like a box chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get. Nowadays the russel stover boxes come with these cute little maps so you can know which one you are getting. But have you ever accidently turned the box backwards so the map is completely wrong. Or even worse yet accidently pushed a chocolate over when you removed one so everything becomes completely off. It can be very frustrating when you think you think you are getting a raspberry truffle and when you bite in you realize its a buttercream. And when that happens I would prefer not having the map at all. Because there's nothing more bothersome then realizing that you have a map of what you want, but the only problem is that you have it pointed in the wrong direction.

Is There a Point?

2007-07-31T16:39:00.000-04:00

It's funny for awhile I was going totally crazy with the blogs writing tons of them each day. And all of sudden lately I just haven't been in the mood to write. It's strange how the words kept flowing and now I can't think of anything to write about. Perhaps it could be writer's block, but somehow it seems like more. For some reason that I can't seem to understand lately my heart is just not into writing blogs. And I'm not quite sure why. It could be that I'm just tired of writing Seinfeld like blogs. After all they never really seem to go anywhere. But perhaps that could be the point, after all wasn't that the point of Seinfeld. I know what about the Sex and the City. Let's face it, my blogs may have made reference to the show, but none of them really reflected a Sex and the City type of lifestyle. To be honest I really don't think I want one. All those different partners, what really is the point?

Jerky Boys

2007-07-31T09:25:00.000-04:00

The last couple of days have been those you know hot muggy summer days. You know where you can just see the haze hang around the horizon. And I don't know if it's just a trick on the eye or what but it seems like the sun gets bigger and bigger. It's kinda funny if you stare at the sun you can actually even see the haze around the sun. Days like today you just want to sit in a hammock under a big tree and drink lots of lemonade. Actually today is the perfect day for a couple of coronas. It's kinda funny what makes a day like the perfect day for a corona over a bud or rolling rock or something like that. Well if you ask me there's no day that's right for a bud. I never understood what was the thrill about buds. To me they taste really gross, like what I would imagine piss would taste like. Or maybe it's just that it's the beer that jerky boys in bars drink. You know the type the ones that just stand in the spot where they can check every woman the minute they walk in the door. And they can drink their beer without taking their eyes off the door. Somehow they can drink their beer without looking at it, and not spill any. These are the types of guys when I see them in the bar I run the other way.

Water Breezes

2007-07-30T10:34:00.000-04:00

There's something about the water that just calls to me. It's crystal blue seas, that sparkle and shimmer they whisper my name. Maybe I should say sing because its waves crashing against the shore sound like the sweetest melodies. There's something about the ocean that absolutely love. I'm not sure I can quite explain it, there's just something about the ocean. Perhaps there's something in the way that it sparkles when I look at it. Or the way that it reaches for me with its wide ever open arms. Everytime I'm nearby, I only want to get closer, and reach more towards it. I love the way it feels to be surrounded by the water. There's nothing like the way the cool water feels around me.

Pennies for my Thoughts

2007-07-24T13:15:00.000-04:00

There's nothing quite like a sunny day after one of those really rainy days. Don't get me wrong I understand that we need the rain. It gives us wonderful things like trees, grass and flowers which of course give us oxygen to breathe. It also fills our resevoirs with water, which is of course almost as important as oxygen for our survival. I never really remember liking rain much even as a child. Though I must admit I used to love jumping in the puddles and making a mess. I remember as a child my Grandmother used to tell me that rain was the clouds crying. In some ways that does make sense. But then again she also told me that thunderstorms were the angels bowling. And even as a child for some reason that just didn't seem very believable. To be honest I'm not quite sure why I felt that way, perhaps I just couldn't find angels bowling very believable. Or maybe there just isn't a logical reason.

This Victory Song

2007-07-24T11:42:00.001-04:00

Everyone has at least one or two moments in their life where they are plagued with doubt. Hey after all we're only humans. And it's human nature to have a case of doubt every once in awhile. The funniest thing is usually this period of doubt will end as quickly as it starts. It's funny how sometimes you'll suddenly have a moment of complete mental clarity. You know like when a bell or whistle goes off, and you suddenly just say to yourself Aha. This wasn't the first time I had one of these moments, but it certainly was the time when I felt it the strongest. In some ways it's like a moment of victory. Perhaps like hitting a grand slam or a buzzer shot to win the game. It's one of those time in your life that sometimes has no explanation. But just perhaps you really just don't need one.

Do You Think You Can Tell?

2007-07-18T13:34:00.000-04:00

Have you ever listened to the lyrics, and said to yourself suppose you can't? If you don't know what song the title is referring to, don't bother with the rest of the blog. Maybe you are asking why, I'm sorry you just won't get what I'm talking about. And you realize for the first time that you can. Because there was a time in your life where you didn't. That you on some level knew deep down that you weren't happy but didn't know what it was. All you knew was that you knew you should be happy but weren't. And you just knew you immediately had to make changes in your life, but didn't know why. So you went and made those changes, and for the first time in your life you were trully happy with yourself. The reason why you weren't before didn't matter. All that mattered was that you were finally happy with the person you were. You still had growing do to, but it was a step in the right direction. And you still had a lot to learn, but there was still one thing you knew for sure. You'd never ever let yourself back in that place where you didn't know the difference from heaven from hell. Maybe you are wondering why is that so important. Well, it's because maybe you never knew that you were that strong on the inside. Now I know no matter what happens I'll never allow myself to be in a position where I don't know blue skies from pain again.

Pitter Pattering Thoughts

2007-07-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

There something about the pitter patter of rain that just makes me lethargic. I'm not quite sure why but it's always made me sleepy. Perhaps there's something about the noise that the rain makes as it hits the ground. You know that same repetive sound over and over again all day long. I know some people could argue it's erotic, and to some extent I do see their point. After all it's the same repetitive sound over and over again. But at the same time so does a ticking clock, and who finds them sexy. Maybe what I find the strangest part is that thunderstorms late at night, well, I find them very erotic. There's always just been something about them for me, and I can't honestly say why. It could be especially odd because thunderstorms during the day don't honestly do anything for me. So there's got to be something more to it then just the storm itself. Perhaps it could because when a thunderstorm wakes you up in the middle of the night your natural instinct is to grab the person next to you. And you know what happens when you grab the person lying down next you in the middle of the night. There are things that are just bound to naturally happen. You know it usually starts with just one touch.

Ramble On...

2007-07-18T08:59:00.000-04:00

Isn't funny how sometimes one song can so strong effect your opinion of band? Before I heard Ramble On I thought Led Zeppelin was a pretty decent band. After all how can you not like them after listening to Stairway to Heaven? But after hearing this song I was just totally sold. Come on it's a song about the Lord of Rings, and I'm sorry any band that sings about that is pretty damn cool in my book. And there are other bands that had similar effects on me. You've probably heard me talk about this one again, but I'll say it again. AC/DC had me completely sold with You Shook Me All Night. Before that I was a little what the fuck is with this band. But the only song I heard was Big Balls and I thought the band could only be appreciated by horny teenage boys. Of course, now that I'm older I have a greater appreciation for the song. Maybe that's just me trying to revert to lost innonence. Let me see if I can think of some other songs that also had that effect. When there's that Yes song called I've Seen All Good People. Hey a song about chess is pretty cool in my book. Though I don't know how to play, maybe I should learn sometime. Another big one was of course Satisifaction by the Stones, I know how predictable. The Beatles is another obvious one, though it is a toss-up between All You Need is Love and I Want To Hold Your Hand. This one will be obvious if you know me or even if you read my blogs, With or Without You by U2. I probably should have something about my favorite band, Aerosmoth. I guess in their case it would also be two songs, Living on the edge and Amazin'. Just like you I can also predict what you would ask, what about the other way. Where the songs that made you hate the band. Of course, but I think that would require another whole blog.

My Sugar Baby...

2007-07-17T16:11:00.000-04:00

When I'm around you...
I get all excited...
All it takes is one glance...
Brings a rush of excitement...
You make head rush...
My stomach flip flop...
If we touch too quick...
But I still can't help it...
I love the way you feel...
Especially in my mouth...
And the way you taste...
Makes my mouth water...
Oh baby you get me excited...
Add some whipped cream...
Don't forget the hot fudge...
Even better pile on the cherries...
Because to me there's nothing sweeter...
Than the cherries that goes on top...
If you ask me that's the part that comes...
Second only to you...
Oh my sweet favorite love...
Ice cream how I love you so...

Baby Please...

2007-07-17T14:07:00.000-04:00

You are so beautiful...
I love your sleek...
So well designed curves...
There's something about you...
That's so elegant and refined...
There's little that can be compared...
To your fine exquiste beauty...
And all I know for sure...
Is that you had me...
At that first sweet sweet sight...
Please honey sweetie baby...
Won't you please just...
Give me just one ride...
It's all I ask of you...
Let me just once let me feel...
The wind you blow...
Rush over my body...
Please don't me beg...
My sweet sweet sails...

Luck of the Draw

2007-07-17T13:30:00.001-04:00

No I'm not about to write a blog about poker, or anything other card game for the matter. Or gambling in general if that's your next question. Well to be quite honest, I'm not exactly sure what I'm about to blog about. For some reason I just suddenly came up with the title. And it's rare that I would suddenly become inspired with a title so I decided to just go with it. To be honest I've never really was one to believe in this thing called luck. I've always believed that fate and destiny was something that you controlled yourself. Even as a child when Grandmother would tell to pick four leaf clovers for luck I thought she was a little nuts. Don't get me wrong I would do it and have fun. Luck was never my inspiration for doing it though, and to be honest I can't remember what was. Maybe it was just getting dirt all over my clothes because it pissed my mother off. Like I was saying I do believe that there's something out there that gives us certain opportunties. It's up to us to use these opportunites and take advantage of them. Some people may say how's this luck but I don't think it's quite the same thing.

Do You Feel Like I Do?

2007-07-17T11:19:00.000-04:00

You move me...
Make me feel...
Emotions I didn't know...
Were even possible...
And I'm happier when...
You surround me...
And envelop me...
I couldn't be happier...
When you are around...
Just the way you reach...
For me makes me...
Feel just so special...
Oh sweet waves...
How I love you so...

Catch Me If You Can

2007-07-17T09:17:00.000-04:00

It's funny as you get older, the things around you go faster. For me this seems to be the fastest moving summer I've ever experienced. And to me the strangest part is that I'm not quite sure why. Maybe you are asking why? I know I am, because it's not like this has been a summer where there's lots of exciting stuff going on. I mean I've done the usual little stuff like barbeque on July 4th and go to the beach. Maybe it's going faster because it's the first summer in a long time, if ever, that I've really appreciated the little things. Perhaps you are asking what these little things are? Things like stopping to smell the flowers, or watching the sailboats. Or watching the waves crash against the shore. Or taking a nap outside on a bench during your lunch hour. And don't forget spending a lunch hour watching the clouds move and trying to see what kinda funny shapes they form. There's nothing quite like finding a dragon in the sky to make your day. Perhaps suddenly appreciating the little things like that is what has been making my summer move so much faster.

Come Together...

2007-07-16T15:48:00.000-04:00

To be honest I'm not sure what urged me to look this up on wikipedia. Perhaps it was because I've heard so many references, but never really knew much about the story. Why it suddenly popped into my head now I'm not quite sure. Anyway come to think of I can't think of why I never wondered about the origin of the story of Don Juan before. The part of the story about him being a womanizer I already knew it's the rest that I didn't. Anyway according to the article in the original story Don Juan rapes a woman, and then kills her father. He sees a statue of the man in the cemetary and invites him home to dinner. I just have one question for this man why would invite a statue of man that you killed home for dinner. It just proves what I've always thought, men who spread "their seed" aren't particularily smart. Anyway while at his house the statue asks to shake his hand. And yet again this man proves his stupity and does what the man asks. The statue drags him to hell where the devil says everyone plays a role and that he would make an excellent fool. Don Juan laughs and says that no one plays his equal he's had thousands of conquests. Yeah, there's no man that can be equally as big a whore as you. There's nothing to be proud of being a whore. Anyway the devil tells him that if he can name one woman's name he won't have to wear the jester suit. A parade of women passes him and he can't remember a single name. The devil brings in front of him the one woman that trully loved him and he couldn't remember the name and just says give me the suit. The article does go into the writings with the character in it. But to be honest I was just curious about the story about the actual character, and I'm being lazy today.

A Slight Twist of Fate

2007-07-16T11:41:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt an emotion that you just couldn't control? You try to resist it, you know that its not something you should act upon. But sometimes you wonder how much longer you can resist. And you know that feeling this emotion, can sometimes not be healthy. Actually a lot times this emotion can lead to some rather unhealthy behavior. And you know that they way it applies to this particular person, is well, particularily unhealthy. Right now I probably have you a little confused about what emotion I'm referring to. I like that, in fact I love confusing my readers. I'm sure you have your guesses, and you are most likely wrong. You probably are thinking yourself what is she talking about there are very few emotions that can have that powerful an effect on a person. You are probably pretty cocky right about now. If I had to guess you are probably thinking there's only two emotions that can have that strong effect on a person. Perhaps you are even saying to yourself that old cliche right now. That there's a fine line between the two. And you probably feel you have pretty good odds right now. Would you care to make a bet? Cause I know I have better bet. Last shot for bets, alright no takers. Personally I don't really don't fully believe in that fine line between thing. But that's another blog, because it's not either of those emotions. No I'm talking about revulsion. It's one of those emotions that's not talked about. Perhaps because they are too busy talking about hatred. I bet you are wondering what's the difference. I say they are starkly different, not as much as night and day. But still there are some major differences. How about we let the dictionary decide. It defines revulsion as a sudden strong change or reaction in feeling, especially a feeling of violent disgust or loathing. On the other hand hatred is intense animosity or hostilty. Perhaps you asking what's the difference. I personally believe there's a big difference, hatred can be overcome. On the other hand revulsion, the person used to think happy thoughts and their mind has been swayed the other way. If you ask me that's extremely difficult to overcome.

Anyway I think I got a little distracted taunting my readers. Though I must admit its lots of fun, but still I must return to the point of my blog. Why was my point again? I must also admit I tend to lose my points. Oh yes, repulsion and how it's not a healthy emotion. After all it's one of those emotions that seems to always turn up in Shakespeare's tragedies. And those things always end up with the majority of the characters dead. So needless to say I must get over my obsession. I could get even but that's not healthy at all, and bad karma too. Besides in this case, as in many, if I'm patient they'll probably end up getting even with themselves. Maybe you're asking how's that possible. Well it's highly likely they will out of frustration when they don't get what they want.

Maybe I Just Can't Refuse...

2007-07-16T11:04:00.000-04:00

The ocean at all it's beauty...
Is quite inspiring...
Its waves sparkle...
Like diamonds floating in the water...
It shines like the sun...
And it reflects like a mirror...
Everytime I look at it...
There's this translucent glow...
Each wave calls me to come closer...
To reach for it...
And feel it's sweet embraces...
I can tell that the water...
Wants me to just...
Jump into its outstreched arms...
Without looking back...
Not even a second glance...

C is for Cookie...

2007-07-16T10:19:00.000-04:00

That's good enough for me...
After all what's not to love...
About sweet delicous cookies...
I can eat them anytime of day...
But they are especially good...
Warm from them oven...
And just melt in your mouth...
I've never met a cookie I didn't like...
No make that love...
Chocolate chips are yummy...
Even better with nuts...
And if they are double chocolate...
I'll love them double as much...
All I know is that...
Cookie Monster had it right...
C is for cookie...
And that is good enough for me...

We Will Rock You

2007-07-16T09:34:00.000-04:00

I think everyone has at least one moment in their life where all they can do is sit there and say huh. Perhaps that statement makes you huh. Or maybe you even think this chick has finally gone nuts. Believe me, until recently I would have said the same thing about that statement. But recently there have been days where I have wondered if I've secretly wandered onto a movie set and didn't realize it. And even better yet somehow someway accidently became part of it without a script. The only thing is when the movie plot is real life there's no script. And let's face it everyone's role is very subjective. Of course my favorite part is that sometimes the characters' roles can change with the snap of a finger. Sometimes all it takes is one small little event for the tides to turn, just like in the movies. I just hope I'll get a warning before the car chase scene. Have you ever noticed that's always the turning point in any action movie?

A Song For All Seasons

2007-07-12T12:43:00.000-04:00

I know I've written about this before and today probably won't be the last time. For some reason I've always been one of those people that sometimes associates a particular song with a specific time or person. No I'm not gonna go in details, not because I want to go easy on you. But because I'm just too lazy to think of the details. I know I can be lazy a lot. Hey I think everyone has lazy tendencies. Sometimes it's just what we do with them. Gee I'm really jumping all over the place with this blog. Anyway back to the subject at hand. Music is just a large part of lives and we don't even realize it. I think a lot has to do with the fact that is has such an emotional connection, but we don't really realize it. Sometimes we'll associate a song with our first kiss either because it was playing or it just makes us think of that person. There's the song that was our first slow dance. The last song played on prom night. Maybe there's a song that reminds us of our first love. A song for our last love and every love in between. Hey there's probably even a song that reminds us of our first job. Maybe even the first time we told our boss to shove it. And know that I think about it, since there was a song for our first love, there's probably one for our first break up. Yes also for the last break up and everyone in between. I could keep going but I think you get the point. Cause if you are like me when each one of those were mentioned, a song probably popped into your head. I know you are asking, was there a point to all this? Not really it's just a blog after all.

Just Meant to Be

2007-07-12T12:34:00.000-04:00

Each day I crave you more...
Want to touch you...
Feel your sweet caresses...
Hear you whisper in my ear...
Each day I run faster towards you...
My arms widespread...
Ready to jump into your open arms...
For you I feel a bottomless love...
That's unconditional and never ending...
And I know you feel the same...
But it seems like we are always...
Just chasing each other...
Running around in circles...
Anyone else I would wonder...
But with you I know it's meant to be...
My sweet sweet ocean wave...

Ode to Nuts...

2007-07-11T14:56:00.000-04:00

I love nuts...
I'm sure I'm not alone...
After all what's there...
Not to love about nuts...
Everyone has a favorite...
Maybe you don't...
Perhaps you think...
That I'm a little cracked...
But what can I say...
I just love nuts...
Each one has its own...
Texture and taste...
Each type you find...
Is bigger than the last...
Each has it's own shape...
Pistachios are green and salty...
Cashews are always curved...
Nothing crunches like a pecan...
Walnuts are extra nutty...
Peanuts are sweet...
And Brazil nuts...
Will always be the biggest...
Come to think of it...
I don't have a favorite...
I just wanna love...
As many nuts as I can...

Always a Wave Away

2007-07-11T13:33:00.000-04:00

Each day the beautiful crystal blue water calls to me. It outstretches its long arms towards me. But it seems that everytime I move closer the gap between us becomes wider. And that distance between us gets further and further. Then I start to run towards it, and the faster I run the more distant it becomes. And I'm not quite sure why this is. Maybe there is something about me that's scary. Perhaps its as simple as a miscommunication. Or maybe perhaps they are just playing hard to get. It could even be as simple as the two of us just keep getting our signals crossed. Whatever it is all I know is I love that ocean but it seems to be always just out of my reach. Maybe one day I'll be able to tie it down. Or perhaps I should just go visit it during low tide when it's movements are a little easier to pin down.

A Little Mystery

2007-07-11T09:15:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those really hazy mornings. This morning before I went into work I went for a walk along the water. And this morning is one of those days where you are lucky if you can see past twenty feet along the water. I never really quite understood fog and where it came from. It probably just was because I didn't really listen in earth science class. Maybe it was one of those things I felt I could never use outside of school. After all I never did plan on becoming a weather person. So it's kinda funny that I'm now curious about where it comes from. Anyway this morning I was thinking that even fog has a beauty to it if you look a little deeper. It has this unrefined natural beauty to it. I know you are thinking what is this chick talking about. Maybe I just not quite sure. Perhaps just like when you are intrigued by a beautiful stranger. There's something mysterious there because you can't see the complete picture. It could be that you think I don't know what I'm talking about, but bear with me for one second. What is that really attracts us to that beautiful stranger? If you ask me it's the fact that they are still are an enigma. There's still this puzzle there that needs to be solved. Of course sometimes that puzzle does do you in. Perhaps that's the reason they said curiosity killed the cat.

Just the Way the Cookie Crumbles

2007-07-10T16:13:00.000-04:00

They say that everything in life has a place and a time. And I agree with that there are lots of things that relates to. Relationships, careers, certain events in your life, I could keep going, but I'm not. Maybe you are wondering why, mostly because that's not the point of this blog. I'm sure you are wondering what then is the point. Well, there are those things in life that no matter what don't have a time or a place. There are certain things that no matter what, for whatever reason just aren't meant to be. It can happen just about anywhere in life. For me it's happened in my career, I just wasn't meant to work in the area I majored in college. I eventually realized it just wasn't meant for me my last semester in college. And rather than change my major I just finished up and graduated.

For me though it happened even more in relationships. There were several occasions were for whatever reason, either one or both of us had said, "This just ain't meant to be". Of course, there were times were it was a very easy decision, and then of course times where it was a rather difficult decision. There were times where it was an easy mutual decision. And then there were times, of course, where one of us had a rather difficult time accepting that it would never happen. Let's face it, there are times when there are two people that no matter what the circumstances cannot be. A lot times it simply comes down to something simple like a personality crash, one of the people isn't attracted to other, or there's someone else that's in the picture. It's tough sometimes, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

The Perfect Spot

2007-07-10T11:51:00.000-04:00

There's something I've always loved about the beach. And I'm not sure why because I can't swin and have no desire to swim. What's even funnier is if you leave me out there for more than an hour or two I look like I'm Larry the Lobster's long lost sister. So my love for the beach is a little strange to say the least. I'd love to have a house along the beach, but not so much to sit there all day. Though I do love watching the way the waves crash against the sand. But more so I could take a morning stroll along the shoreline and another one in the late afternoon. For some reason, there's always been something about the shoreline that I've found fascinating. You know that sweet spot where the water and sand meet. I've always loved walking along the beach from one end to the other along the shoreline. There's something about that spot that always enticed me. For as long as I can remember I've been entranced by it and found it absolutely beautiful. Maybe because if you ask me it's the perfect spot on the beach. Hey, it's the spot where the sand and the water meet. And I always say can you imagine one without the other. So to me it makes perfect sense that the best place would be where the sand and sea meet. I doubt I'm wrong because look at how many others agree. The crabs and other sea creatures, children, and young and old lovers alike all go there to frolick. They all can't be wrong, there must be something there. Personally I just think it's that the sea and the sand is the perfect merger.

Just a Little...

2007-07-10T11:19:00.000-04:00

Life is beautiful...
Life is spectatular...
Something to be cherished...
The one thing in your life...
That should be put on a pedestal...
Life should be worshipped...
Embraced to the fullest...
And if there's something...
You could do...
To make even one minute...
Just a little bit happier...
What's stopping you...
From going and doing it...
Perhaps some of us...
And this includes me...
Are just a little of afraid...
Of being happy...
Because we don't know...
How to react to it...
And everyone fears the unknown...
Because if you think about it...
When was the last time...
You were trully and completely happy...
If you can't remember...
It's time to do something...
That will make you feel that way...

Islands Out in the Sun

2007-07-10T09:59:00.000-04:00

Something about them...
I find oh so soothing...
They relax me...
Calm me down...
When I'm feeling blue...
They whisper me sweet nothings...
When I'm feeling tired...
They sing me enchanting lullabies...
And when I'm happy...
You can see them sparkle...
And I know the minute I see them...
My whole face lights up in delight...
Some tease me about my love for them...
But I just don't care...
Cause there's nobody quite like them...
And so there's nothing quite like...
My deep love for them...
My deep sweet ocean blue...

More Than Some New Sensation

2007-07-10T09:12:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had a moment or even several in your life where you go, "Didn't that happen in a movie?" It's happened to me before, but it's still a little unnerving. Hey let's face it's a strange to wake up one day and realize that your life resembles a movie plot. I know you could tell me that it depends on the movie, but not necessarily. Even in the best of the circumstances it's still a little disturbing. Unless of course it's one of those movies where you suddenly inherit millions and millions of dollars. I know you could argue with me that a lot movies aren't very likely to happen in real life, like Jurasiac Park for example. But there are some movies that you can see happening in real life, and sometimes if you ask me those are the most disturbing. Like the movie Disclosure for example could very easily happen in real life. I could come up with more, but frankly this blog is starting to get a little boring. Perhaps you could argue it must be exciting to have a life that resembles a movie plot. And that the car chases must be pretty exciting. I'm sure that they aren't as exciting if you are going through them. So needless to say I'm happy there haven't been any of those yet. Maybe I should just be glad my life hasn't started to resemble Weekend at Bernie's, at least as the dead dude. Hey, on the bright side at least he went out with one hell of a party.

How Another Tribute...

2007-07-09T13:51:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: Here we go again... Maybe I'll stick to those classics again...

Here come old flat top... he was one holy roller... he's got hair down to his knees... He were no shoe shined shoes... what's toe jammed football... come together... right now... over to me... he back production... he's one spinal cracker... feel his disease... over me... come... he rolled a coaster... he got muddy water... alright i finally get the muddy water reference... over me... I know i missed a lot... I love the beatles... especially their earlier stuff... come together... after awhile some of their stuff got a little weird to say the least... come together... awww... come together...

ooh... i love this beat... there are keyboards in there i think... whose that knocking on the door... it's gotta be a quarter to 4... you could love me tonight if you want... hot legs wearing me out... Doesn't surprise me that rod stewart is a legs man... I'm a working man... rod stewart a working man... that makes me laugh... maybe he's not talking about the type of work... I love ya honey... that's a strange beat now... ahh there's the other one that I like... yeah those are definetly some ivories he's tickling... hot legs... hot legs... imagine how I felt... I wonder how many women this dude has been thru... i'm so bad... he likes him young... Hey I don't blame him... I like them young too... hot legs... hot legs are wearing me out... hot legs... hot legs... I love ya... whoa... hot legs... I love ya honey...

This thing called love... I can't handle it... I just ... get ready... crazy thing called love... For some reason I like this song... Of course my favorite queen song is fat bottomed girls... then I guess bohemian rapsody... and then we will rock you... I love this solo... I guess most people's favorite would be I will rock you... I guess I'm a little weird... raising a thing called love... can't handle it... well love is is complicated... and I can only imagine how complicated it was for freddie mercury...

ahhh another complicated dude... actually in his case it's probably quite the understatement to say the least... I've always loved how this song starts with the storm... In to this house were born... in this world were thrown... there's a killer on the road... squirming like a toad... this is one of his songs that the lyrics actually make sense... some of them are just so out there... girl you gotta love your man... take him by the hand... make him understand... the life on him depends... i love long solos... especially when they have a thunderstorm... there's something erotic about them... I know i'm weird... riders on the storm... into this house were born... like a dog without a bone... an actor out along... when you think about it the lyrics are very profound... riders on the storm...

Generals gathered in their masses... shit I missed a ton because I wasn't paying attention... in the fields the bodies keep dying... as the war machine keeps turning... I never really listened to the lyrics before... this song isn't exactly happy... of course it is ozzy... what exactly can you expect... he did eat a bat on stage... that was him right... yes i did know that ozzy was in black sabbath... what did he just say... this is one of those songs i live better when the solos are playing... that is pretty unusual for me... I wonder how many drugs ozzy did take... have you ever heard him talk... he's like a walking talking stay away from drugs campaign... now in darkness war stops turning... something about bodies burning... There are a lot post war angry british bands... I know why does that surprise me... Alright I'm bored of doing the lyrics game for this song...

Sweet emotion... sweet emotion... talk about things and nobody cares... wearing out things nobody wears... can't say baby where i'll be in a year... face like a gent... must be part of the wind... she's a real good liar... another good song... they keep coming today... sweet emotion...I pulled into town in the police car... the rabbit done died... I think that was a funny line... shaking your ass... hey when you have mine why not... i know I'm so bad...

I love the long intro for this song... I know what chick from brooklyn likes them... I'm sure I won't be the first... or the last... besides the allman brothers rock... was this the version without the lyrics... who was it that told me this song didn't have any... jessica has lyrics... at least i think it does... maybe i was confusing it with sweet melissa... the tune does sound similar... maybe they are right... oh well... i never used to like long songs with no music... i think they call them jam bands... but lately they have been growing on me...

Another Hot Day

2007-07-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those really hot sticky summer afternoons. You know one of those were the minute you walk outside your clothes immediately stick to your body. And there's just this layer of moisture on your skin. One of those days where the minute you walk outside you feel like you need a shower. You know it's one of those days were you wish you could still get away with a run through the sprinklers. Heck it's so hot today I'd even enter a wet t-shirt contest to be able to cool off. Even if the rules are that I have to wear a white t-shirt and no bra. Of course an easier option would be a nice ice cream cone . Ooh I'd love to lick a nice cool ice cream cone right now. Or even better yet a nice ice cream popiscle. On a hot day like today there's nothing quite like licking one of those. Sometimes I'll lick them so fast I'll get brain freeze. It's much better when you do it nice and slow.

The Sand Lot

2007-07-09T11:51:00.000-04:00

I've always loved the way the sand felt between my toes. As a child when I would go to the beachI would dig my feet all the way down in the sand so I could really feel the sand. In fact there are times when I still do it, but usually when there is no one else around. And I also love that feeling you get when the waves hit your feet. I always used to love that feeling when the wave first hits. You know how you jump because the water is so cold. There's something about the water and the sand, I've always loved the water and the sand. To me they were the perfect pair. As a child I would play in the water, then run to play in the sand building a sandcastle or whaterver. I'd love the way the sand would feel on my skin, of course until it dried. So I would go in the water to wash it off. I would run back and forth like this all day, to me it was loads of fun. Each time I would run from the water to play in the sand, well more would stick. Needless to say by the end of the day I was quite the mess. My Mom would always complain I was such a pain in the neck to clean up after. I know what's the point of this long story. True it's partially a walk down memory lane. But it's also a reflection upon the beauty of the sand and the sea. How beauiful a pair they are. Maybe it's just me, but I've always thought of them as the perfect match. It could be just because I've always thought the beach was the perfect place to spend a beautiful afternoon. And could you imagine a beach without the sand and the water together. If you ask me that wouldn't be very perfect at all.

Baby I Love Your Way

2007-07-09T11:31:00.000-04:00

Has there ever been someone, that no matter what everything they do you think is adorable. You know even when they are annoying it's just so cute. Something about them is totally irresistable, and you're not quite sure why. But when you think about it, it doesn't really matter. It can be a little disturbing at times to feel that way about someone, but at that same time you totally love it. Perhaps it's just because you've never really felt that way before. To some degree you doubt you ever will. Perhaps the only thing you can do is relish it while its theree. And hope that feeling of loving everything about a person will just never go away. And at the same time you can't help but wonder if they feel the same way.

2007-07-09T11:25:00.000-04:00

The water calls me...
I hear it's sweet whispers...
As it laps against the shore...
But I must admit...
It's a funny kinda love...
As run towards them...
They just run away...
I'm not sure...
If the waves are just playing hard to get...
Or if there's perhaps...
Something about me...
That's intimating...
Or maybe perhaps...
It's just it's way...

Summer Lovin'

2007-07-09T09:06:00.000-04:00

For some reason this past week I'm not quite sure what it is but several of my single friends have been obsessing over their relationship status. I've always heard that people will find it difficult to be single around the winter holidays, but I've noticed lately that a lot of people seem to struggle just as much during the summer. To be honest I'm not sure why, maybe there's something in the water. Or perhaps there's something in the extra humidity or something like that. It could be just because there's all that talk about summer flings that gets tossed around. Let's face it, it's something that is embedded in our culture. Take a look at all the movies we watched growing up that the characters have summer flings. The first two that jump into my mind are of course Grease and Dirty Dancing. There was also that movie where the two lovebirds were always swimming in the water. For the life of me I can't remember the title of that movie. I'm sure you get the point that I'm trying to make, as a society we are taught from a pretty young age that summers are meant for fun. And carefree summer fun includes unhibited sex, and then people wonder why the eighties were the lust generation. I know I sound like a old hag but I guess I just never was good at the one night stand thing. Maybe I don't necessarily demand love and sex together, but I believe you should know them well enough to respect them. Maybe that's just why I never really had a summer fling. Or could understand why all my friends were so obsessive about it.

Only One Key

2007-07-05T14:30:00.000-04:00

Love some say...
Is gushy...
Perhaps even mushy...
I say it's both...
But I wouldn't...
Have it any...
Other way than that...
To me it's the right way...
I don't see the point...
If it doesn't make...
My knees knock...
Heartbeat race faster...
Palms all sweaty...
Stomach go flippy flop...
And my face flush...
Just for that one...
Very special person...
That holds the key...

The Only One

2007-07-05T11:08:00.000-04:00

I've always wanted a love...
Like the one between...
The earth and the sea...
They have a bond...
That never ends...
And is as old...
As the dawn of time...
Can you imagine...
A love so strong...
All life grew from it...
Even in the drizzling rain...
You can feel the power...
Of a love so strong...
And they make it...
Look so easy...
Maybe we make it...
Too complicated...
For our own good...
All I know is that...
I crave a love...
So strong...
Yet so simple...
At the Same time...
And now I'm sure...
That it's out there...
For me too...

It's All Knowing What Someone Is Feeling

2007-07-05T10:07:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those days that you crave to see the sun. You know how they say you don't miss something until it's gone. Well today is one of those days. You immediately know what's missing the minute you walk outside. It's like after a bad breakup, and the person's presence along with all of their belongings is missing. If you ask me it's just like that every time the sun leaves the sky. I crave for the sun to return and for the clouds to leave. Because perhaps then, my love, the sun will return. If you ask me there's nobody I could love in the same special way that I love the sun. Something about my day is incomplete when it's not in the sky. And if you ask me, it's something really special that just its presence can put such a huge smile on my face. Just seeing it makes my heartbeat faster, and my face flush. Somehow, someway the sun brightens up my entire day. For that I'll always no matter what I'll love it so.

After Midnight

2007-07-03T13:40:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: I haven't looked up anything on Wikipedia in awhile, so I figured I would start again. And go back to where it all started classic rock. The title should have been a clue. Though I must admit I didn't come up the title at first. I'll probably add it later. I bet you wondering why Eric Clapton, well he was the second classic rock artist I really got into. Aerosmith was of course first, maybe I should look them up too. Alright here we go.

I didn't know his middle name was Patrick, I'm learning something already. Wow he named two of his instruments, that's hot. This is pretty cool he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame three times. And Rolling Stone listed him as the 4th greatest guitarist of all time. They also rated him 53 on the list of immortals, the greatest artists of all time. Gee I didn't know that Clapton was in the Yardbirds, for some reason that surprises me. I know this totally off topic but wow the Yardbirds had three really great guitarists, in this order, Clapton, Beck and then Page. Aah now we go to his days with Cream, now that was a really kick ass band. It's kinda funny now, I can't believe I never realized what an influence Hendrix had on Cream. But looking back it totally makes sense when you think about the sound. I never trully realized how much Cream really changed the role of the instrumental. In many ways I've always associated that with bands like the Who and Led Zeppelin.

There was the time that he was in the band Blind Faith, which to be quite honest I don't know much about. I never realized that Steve Winwood was in that band. The band only did one album and concert tour and only lasted one year. I thought his first solo album would have been much earlier, and I always thought After Midnight was his song. Aah now we are up to the Derek and The Dominos era. I was always wondering where that name came from. But apparently its because a previous performer misprounced Eric and the Dynamos. That's kinda funny whekindfunny when you think about it. Here's the famous part of the story with Lalya. Clapthon worte it after he fell in love with George Harrison's wife and she rejected his advances. Ididn't know it was also inspired by this other story called the story of Layla and Majnun I guess that's where the name Lalya comes from. I didn't realize that this band had so much drama surrounding it's bandmates.

Wow I didn't know that he actually was involved with George Harrison's wife and eventually married her. I knew that Lalya was inspired by her, but I didn't know that so was Wonderful Tonight. The article then goes onto his solo career, I don't feel I need to repeat it all here. Typical for lots of celebrities he had an affair and a secret daughter. Here's the part about when his son died which inspired Tears in Heaven, which was of course the first song by Clapton that I liked. It of course inspired me to listen to more of his songs. The article then describes his modern career and him settling down. He's memoirs were recently sold for a reported 4 million dollars. To be honest I'm surprised one hasn't been written.

And They Play On...

2007-07-03T11:08:00.000-04:00

They play sweet lullabies...
To get my attention...
Each and every day...
And everyday I can't wait...
To hear one more tune...
Their melodies are enchanting...
Each and every note...
Draws me closer to them...
I wish I could sit there...
All day long...
And listen to their sweet melodies...
My heart loving them...
A little more with each beat...
As each wave comes closer...
To the shore I can feel...
My heart start beating faster...
And my stomach in my chest...
Just cause I'm getting excited...
With anticipation of the beautiful sounds...
The waves are going to make...

One of My True Loves

2007-07-03T09:05:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those really beautiful summer mornings. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, bees are buzzing, and there are flowers all over the place. The sky is bright and clear with a few scattered puffy marshellow clouds. These clouds are most beautiful when they are in their rightful spot, secondary to the sun. On a day like today you can feel the warmth of the sun's rays. The sun lights up the whole sky. I love the way the sun makes the water sparkle and shimmer. To me today is just another one of those perfect lazy, hazy days that makes you want to spend the whole day outside cherishing the sun. Hey to me that's the way day like today are meant to be spent. Just sitting, laying, playing around enjoying the sun's beauty. And if you ask me, the most ironic part is that the sun doesn't seem to understand how beautiful it is. Others are jealous of its beauty and try to overpower it. The clouds, the wind, the rain, snow. Even the rainbow which the sun helps to create tries to overshadow it. But the sun shouldn't worry because no matter what none of them will be able to come close to the sun's beauty and strength. Not even if you combine them all together. You could say it's just me, but the sun will always be my first love.

Summertime

2007-07-02T16:06:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those trully beautiful summer days. It's one of those perfect days you wish could last forever. One of those days you see on postcards or see in the movies. There are blue skies as far as the eyes can see, a just a few scattered clouds. You know those types of fluffy white clouds that look like you could flip them with a pancake turner. And you would love to spend the whole day outside doing something like throwing a frisbee or lounging around on a hammock. Just because when you see days like today in the movies, that's exactly what they are doing. Days like today should be cherished and every moment appreciated. Because let's face it, as much as we wish, beautiful summer days like this don't last forever. So grab someone special throw a frisbee and smell the flowers.

What It Does To Me...

2007-07-02T14:38:00.000-04:00

The water it glistens...
It shines in this special way...
In many ways it just calls to me...
Asks for me by name...
Tells me to jump into...
It's wide outstreched arms...
So I could feel its embrace...
Let its sweet love surround me...
Envelop my world...
Open my horizons...
Help me to dream...
Bigger and wider...
And reach for the far off horizon...

Nothing But Love...

2007-07-02T14:21:00.000-04:00

When I look in your eyes...
I see the special way...
That your eyes twinkle...
From across the room...
It's as if it's just for me...
Nothing in the world...
Makes me feel more special...
All I need is your presense...
In the room...
And I swear...
I can feel the earth move...
All I want to do...
Is scream my love for you...
From the rooftop...
So that all can hear...
Or perhaps write it in a tree...
Just like childhood sweethearts...
Because you make me feel like...
I'm a child all over again...
With sweaty palms...
Butterflies in my stomach...
And my heart racing...
All that happens because...
There's suddenly someone...
As special as you in my small little world...
And I'm afraid if I close my eyes...
You may suddenly just disappear...

Relationship Musings

2007-07-02T13:11:00.000-04:00

Just today one of my female co-workers and I were talking about dating and relationships. To be honest it's something that comes up a lot. Hey, we are two single females sitting one cubicle apart. It's just something that's naturally gonna come up on a regular basis. And like most single women in New York we've both come across some indivuals that simply can't handle emotional commitment. What I mean by emotional commitment isn't just promising not to see other women. No it's something much deeper and broader than that. Emotional commitment is the ability to trully open up oneself. You know express one's deepest hopes and dreams, fears and emotions. If you ask me this breed has become more and more common. And where it used to be exclusive to men, it has in recent time become a cross-gender phenomon. I'm sure you want an example, probably no surprise my best example is of course Mr Big from Sex in the City. Let's face the man had some major emotional commitment issues. The man couldn't even commit to signing his name on a gift for a wedding. And to a certain extent I can understand where they are coming from. I don't think it's on purpose to be mean or vengeful. The older we get the more fear holds us back. Let's face it, most of have been burned and we have this fear about getting burned again. And rather than spend time trying to work on our fear, we jump into relationships without dealing with it. I'm glad that I did, and now I know that with the right person I would be able to emotional commit.

All That I Need...

2007-07-02T09:53:00.001-04:00

Have you ever felt their touch...
When they are far way...
Heard them whisper your name...
Tell you that they love you...
You can feel the way they breathe...
Swear you hear their heartbeat...
Late at night as you fall asleep...
And you wake up in cold sweat...
Because you could swear...
That you were in their arms...
And then once you are awake...
You remember they were never there...
But you know they are there...
Out there somewhere...
Waking up at the same time...
Reaching for your arms...

You Are All That I Need

2007-07-02T09:14:00.000-04:00

Each day you call me...
I hear you whisper my name...
Asking me to jump into you wide arms...
To fill your wide spread reaches...
But everytime I come closer...
You move further from me...
I can't decide if...
You are playing hard to get...
Or if you just are confused...
Because everytime I look at you...
I can see the way...
That you sparkle and shine...
In my presence...
Oh sweet water the way...
You tease and taunt me...
Drives me oh so nuts...

Good Vs Evil

2007-07-01T10:51:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that today is already the first of July. It seems this year is flying by. For some reason it seems like each year goes faster than the one before. Maybe it's just me, or perhaps it really can be true. I remember as a child each year dragging. In many ways it felt like each birthday couldn't come fast enough. Sometimes you get what you wish for, but now that the passing years seem to go faster and faster. Maybe when you think about it, that's irony at its finest. Sometimes I find it funny how irony can sometimes bite you in the ass. Just look at any of the Shakespearean tragedies. Any of the characters that were planning all these devious schemes usually died a horrible death. Hey that doesn't usually happen in real life. It's kinda hard we don't have the guillotine any more. But call me naive I'm one of those people that believes good works out in the end, and that evil will fail.

The Dilemma

2007-06-28T12:49:00.000-04:00

One day while cleaning some old stuff from my parents' house I found this. It was buried in the bottom of a folder, in box in the basement. One of my teacher's in high school gave me to and at the time it inspired me. I can't believe I let it disappear to the bottom of a box in the basement like that. Maybe if I saw it more often I would become tone deaf to its message. Anyway, even though the paper is worn and smells a little of mildew it still has a deeply profound message. So I figured I would leave it here for prosperity. And more so that I would never lose it again, and be able to look at it whenever I felt necessary.

The Dilemma

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk rejection
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule
To love is to risk not being loved in return
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing. Has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow. But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave. Only a person who takes risks is free.

Author Unknown

My Hero

2007-06-28T12:31:00.000-04:00

This song makes me think. I think everyone has a hero. Everyone has someone that they admired growing up. Somebody that they wanted to be, to emulate. As we grow up our heroes change, and we don't call them that anymore. Cause that's to kiddie like. We call them mentors, and we look at them with pride. Yeah it's true that in some ways they are different than a "hero". Because sometimes we have to deal with when they do something we don't respect. And our "heroes" as a a child didn't do that. Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Wonder Woman, and all of them never did something that we didn't respect. They always did what was just and legal. But real life heroes don't always do everything we respect. A-Rod cheats on his wife with strippers. Look at that wrestler than just killed his wife and kid, then himself. We have Presidents that cheat on their wives in the oval office on their lunch break. Donald Trump while I do respect all he's done, well I'm sure he's done somethings that are just over the law. On the other their probably are a lot of people out there that really respect him for that. Let's look at some of favorite entertainers. Arnold took steroids before his movie career, and then (groan) political career. Billy Joel runs trees over after drinking too much. I could continue for a few more pages but I'm sure you get my point.

There's Gotta Be More

2007-06-28T12:23:00.000-04:00

Have you have had a moment in your life, where you feel like you are running in circles? You know like the puppy dog that chases his own tail. Or that kitten that will roll over the place just for a ball of yarn. I know they look totally satisfied, and I bet that they are. But as humans we need more. We crave more, we need more than just the ordinary. Well most of us at least. There are those people that are fine with that. Those people that are alright with sitting from of the couch and eating bon bons. Just watching whatever washed up celebrity wants five more minutes of glory on television. They get up everyday for 30, 40 or 50 years to the same routine and let someone else tell them what to do. If you ask me that's no way to live, there's more to life than that. Maybe I just don't understand how many people really are satisfied with just that.

Maybe Just Maybe,,,

2007-06-28T12:11:00.000-04:00

Each day as I walk past...
I hear them whisper sweet nothings...
Every day I yearn more for its caress...
Yearning to touch it...
Feel the smoothness of its embrace...
But alas every time I run to them...
They run away...
I can't help but wonder if it's something...
That I said or did...
To make them run so...
Maybe they are just playing hard to get...
Because when I'm far away...
They towards me...
But as soon as I closer...
They run away...
Maybe one day...
I'll figure out why...
Those beautiful waves...
Run from me like that...
Maybe just maybe...
They are just...
Playing Hard to Get...

My Destination

2007-06-27T16:32:00.000-04:00

Here's another band who's songs I've always related to. At least it's a more postive minded song. One of things I've always loved about Boston is that their songs are usually so upbeat. There's something about their songs that inspire me to dream. You know look at that bigger picture, reach a little further. And this is the perfect example of that. After all he's singing about the destination. What do you reach at the end of your dream. Your destination of course. What I love the most about this song is that he's singing about how the destination is right inside. If you think about it, that's pretty inspirational. After all, if you think about all our dreams are inside us. And if we can see our dreams from within, we should be able to see and feel the destination inside. I guess sometimes, it can be hard. What's great is sometimes, if we are lucky there's someone there that can see it, and shows it to us.

Nobody Knows...

2007-06-27T16:12:00.000-04:00

I've never been able to figure out why Clapton's songs are so mopey. I guess he's had some really bad luck when it came to love. It's true that he does sometimes sound a little bitter but I still think there's something that we can relate to. Let's face it, anyone that's had a break-up or had feelings for someone that didn't return them can relate. Perhaps upon reflection I could see why he did have challenges in the relationship department. After all, he did have a drug issue, specifically with heroin. And for many years he was in love with his best friend's wife. How could that not mess you up? Talk about a situation that's messed up. Of course, he mentions whiskey why do dudes love to drown their sorrows in whiskey. I guess if you are in love with your best friend's woman, whiskey probably would be easier to talk to. After all, how would you explain to your friend I'm in love with your woman. Maybe on reflection this song makes sense. And I guess it's not a situation where another woman is gonna make it better. That type of thing probably just makes you long for the other woman more. I've never myself been in the situation where I was with one person, but wanted someone else. You probably would just want the other person more, especially if they are right there in front of your face. But you imagine being in place where you are so down and out there's nobody there. That's got to be a pretty painful place to be. Needless to say, I don't envy him.

Take it To the Limit

2007-06-27T15:55:00.000-04:00

The sea today is this picture perfect blue. You know the kinda ocean blue that you can stare at all day. It's the perfect color to show off those crisp clean whiteheads. There's something about standing there and staring at the water that makes me want take a long ride on a sailboat. Perhaps be able to dip a toe or two in the water from the edge. I'm not sure why but the middle of the ocean seems like a better place to get views of the beautiful ocean. Maybe it's just because I hear the ocean calling me. Asking me to jump in and feel it's cool sweet embrace. To be honest it's getting harder and harder to resist. Those beautiful crystal whiteheads, look like little diamonds floating on top of the sea. They keep calling asking me to reach for them. To let their sweet shine and sparkle surround me. Sometimes I wonder why I don't just immerse myself in.

Love Lingers...

2007-06-27T14:45:00.000-04:00

There's nothing like...
Love's lingering touch...
The way you can feel it...
Down to your soul...
Your very essence...

There's nothing like...
Love's lingering scent...
The way you can smell it...
Long after your lover is gone...
Makes you crave them more...

There's nothing like...
Love's lingering voice...
The way you can hear it...
Long after their gone...
You can still hear their sweet whispers...

Embraceable You...

2007-06-27T10:40:00.000-04:00

Today there's a visible haze in the water and along the bottom edges of the sky. You know that summer has arrived when you can see the humidity. There's something unique about the way the haze hangs in the sky right above the water. Maybe it's because the lines between the water and the sky are very blurry. And today you can't see the water or the sky all the way down to the horizon. With how humid it is today, it feels like a great day to go into the water. There's something in the way the water calls to me. In some ways, it sounds like a old fashioned sweet melody. You know the kind that your grandmother would hum to you as a child. I can't quite explain it, but there's something about the water that makes me want to embrace it.

The Long Winding Road

2007-06-27T10:29:00.000-04:00

If you think about the path that your life takes, well, it's not straight. It's more like a long winding road. Wasn't that a poem or something, I can't remember right now. Anyway where was I before I got distracted. Life's path isn't straight, there are certain points where the road curves. Sometimes the curves will come out of the middle of nowhere. Have you ever been on a road where a hairpin curves comes out of the middle of nowhere. There was one point where that happened in my life, and it definetly was a major adjustment for me. I probably didn't handle it the best way, but I could have handled it a lot worse too. That's life you just have handle those curves, without driving over the curves. You have to find you way to ride through them. Because on the otherside, is more than likely a road without curves. I think that's the key to life.

Love, Sweet Love

2007-06-26T09:14:00.000-04:00

Love...
How do you know...
When it is...
Often I've heard...
It's something that you just know...
But I think there's still the little signals...
When your pulse races...
And you can't breathe right...
It feels like your stomach is in your throat...
But you still won't take it back...
For anything else in the world...
To me that's love...
The most beautiful feeling in the world...
And only when it's true...
Does it last forever...
No one can break the bond...
No matter what...
After all...
Love conquers all...

Early Morning Reflections...

2007-06-26T09:00:00.000-04:00

This morning before I started my day chained to a desk, I decided to take a quick walk along the water. I needed to have some lingering moments of freedom to hold onto before I started my day. Doesn't everyone need that? After all what do any of us really have to hold onto, to get us through our days. Isn't the thought that one day we won't have to work all day? At the same time most people don't prepare for those days, don't really do anything to make the day where they don't have to have a boss come faster. I know I shouldn't talk, after all I'm guilty of it myself. But on a positive note, at least I've realized that it's something that I've been doing. Hopefully now that wheels are in motion I can do something to change it. If only there was a way for more people to realize that aren't prepared to fire their boss, but could.

Now that I've gotten completely sidetracked in this blog, let me go back to describing my walk. I was walking in the back of the campus, you know in the back by the bay. It's one of my new favorite spots to enjoy. Anyway I was walking back there, and I saw a couple of my friends the swans, taking an early morning nap on the beach. I don't quite understand why they were coming here more when it was a lot colder. After all, I find it a lot more enjoyable this time of year. I'm not sure why, but I find there's something very peaceful and graceful about the swans. Something about their elaborate refined beauty impresses me. Maybe it's because they didn't start off that way, but somehow someway developed their beauty with age. Perhaps it's something I can relate to. After all I feel a lot more beautiful going into my 30th birthday as opposed to my 20th. I know maybe I should learn to embrace it then, because upon reflection I really don't want to go back to 20. It was just such a confusing part of my life. Wow this really was blog that jumped all over the place.

Cause and Effect

2007-06-25T14:57:00.000-04:00

Everything in life, has a cause and effect. That's the only thing I remember from physics class. I remember how my teacher showed us how when the object got pushed, it flew over the table. It's kinda funny how that's the only thing I remember from that class. Maybe there's a reason why. Perhaps because it's one of the few things we learned in school, that we can apply to other aspects of our lives. I'm sure you want examples, if you don't I'm still gonna give it to you. Like for example, if you quit that job you hate without thinking about it first you may have trouble paying your bills. If you call your significant other some nasty names, expect that they won't be too pleasant to live with for awhile. That's probably a pretty clear picture. The scariest part is that many people don't think about the effect when they recklessly just do something. Or some people do and they think they will one of the lucky ones that won't have to worry about it. Sorry it doesn't work that way, everything has one. It's one of those laws of nature you just can't avoid. So if you did something without thinking about the repercussions, I only have one thing to say to you good luck. Hopefully the cause was worth effort, and if it wasn't go and make it worth the effort.

Tug of War

2007-06-25T13:31:00.000-04:00

Today is one of really nice hazy summer days. You know one of those days where the line between the line between the sea and the sky is blurry. It's also one of those days where the sun is clearly visible even though the clouds are trying to overpower it. And you can feel the warmth of the sun's powerful rays. The water reflects both of them and their ongoing power struggle. In some ways, it is like a silly game of tug of war. If you ask me the clouds will never have a shot of winning. After all they do not have nearly as much power or strength of the clouds. Just think about it, the sun can easily just burn the clouds away with it's heat. Maybe one day the clouds will realize it and just throw in the towel. But the clouds are power hungry and are jealous of the sun's abilities. Therefore, it will always waste it's time trying to beat the sun even though it never can. I can't help but wonder if could find something better do with its time. Maybe I shouldn't think about it, and just laugh at the clouds.

Love the Beauty of it...

2007-06-25T13:25:00.001-04:00

Love is beautiful thing...
If you thing about it...
Love surrounds all of us...
It's in a child's laughter...
A flower's beautiful bloom...

Love is a beautiful thing...
It makes each of us...
Brings out out the best of us...
When you surrender yourself...
To all its beautiful glory...

Love is a beautiful thing...
It gives a skip in our step...
Makes our flutter...
And our pulses race...
Gives our stomachs a sommersault...

Love is a beautiful thing...
Like a old jazz tune...
It has a beat you can't resist...
You can't help and take a twirl...
Even if you happen to have two left feet...

All I Wanna Do is Make Love To You

2007-06-25T10:15:00.000-04:00

For me, there's always been something about this song. I'm not totally sure why, it's always been that way. This song makes me thing of someone that I want, almost can feel. But for some reason or another, which I won't get into, I can't quite feel their touch. I'm sure that you've felt this about someone at one point or another. You know you have feelings for this person, to feel their sweet caresses, but you just can't. There's this lingering feeling there, that it's not something that, it's something you can't act on. You can't help but wonder what it would be like to make love to them. There's this strong desire to touch them, to hold them and to feel them deep inside you. Yet, at the same time, you know it's something that you can't act on right now. I don't know about you but for me it's one of the most frustrating feelings. Perhaps, I'm gonna have to find a way to justify at least one touch, one kiss some point soon. The only problem is that it will leave me with this lingering feeling of wanting more. But at the same time I don't know if I could take these feelings of frustration, of not being able to feel them, to touch them much longer. Maybe I just wish there was something that would make me throw all caution to the wind and just act on it.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

2007-06-25T08:58:00.000-04:00

There's always something about Monday's that I dislike. I think there's something about Mondays that everyone dislikes. Let's face it, who wants to go back to work. And forced back into the daily grind. I think the reason we love the weekends, goes beyond just not having to go to work, there's a bigger picture there. The weekend is the one time during the week that we can break away from it. We can get away from having to get at the same time, eat the same breakfast, take the same commute, talk to the same people about the same things and sit at the same desk. On the weekends, we choose what time we get up, choose something different for breakfast, choose where we go, and we choose who we talk to. Think what a difference our lives would be if we could do that everyday. Just imagine how much happier some of us would be. How much more control would we have over our own lives? What would you be willing to do to be able to that for yourself? How good would you feel if you could be able to do that for others too?

You May Be Right...

2007-06-22T14:00:00.001-04:00

I've always related to this song. I'm not really quite sure what's with me relating to Billy Joel songs. At this point, I haven't decided whether or not it's a good or bad thing. Though there are a lot people that do relate to his songs. For some reason, I feel like the song is about. I know, I know it's a dude. But that doesn't really matter, besides I've always felt I've thought like a dude. Why do I feel it's like me? No I don't want to get a motorcyle, let alone drive one in the rain. But I am the type to crash a party, and then make it a hell of lot more fun. I was only having fun. Wasn't hurting anyone. And yes I know I may walk through Bedford Sty alone. Hey I've walked through Sunset Park at 1 am. Just don't tell my Mom. Have you ever waited for that fucking R train? You wouldn't want me any other way. It just may be lunatic you are looking for. You may be right. Who doesn't love Billy? And who couldn't relate to this song. If you ask me they're pretty boring. Turn out the lights. You may be wrong but you may be right.

Life as a Movie...

2007-06-22T13:49:00.000-04:00

If you think about it, life is kinda like a movie. We have characters that come in and out of our lives. Some of them are good, some are inherently evil. Our lives have several, actually many, plot lines. Like there's childhood, junior, high school, college, yadda yadda yadda. Like in a movie we have decisions that we have to make. Whether we should date the blue-eyed hottie in class, if they're the right to marry, our career path, yadda yadda yadda. And like a movie sometimes genres sometimes overlap. When you trip and fall during recess as a child, well that's a comedy. So is when you try to flirt with that cutie at the bar, and everything goes wrong. The drama, well that could just about anything. Your first love, first job, first home, yadda yadda, yadda. Hmmm suspense, well, any car chase scenes, your house blowing up, caught in the middle of a murder investigation. Well, I guess the average person I guess hopefully doesn't have those. Perhaps corporate espionage, or identify theft, both of which are more likely in this day and age. The first after Enron doesn't surprise, and ever seen Boiler Room. That shit really does happen. And identity theft is so easy in this day and age. The other movie genres are a little more difficult. I guess science fiction, would be if you get possessed by a UFO. But to be honest if you believe that you got possessed by one you probably have much bigger problems, not to mention it probably would be a better movie plots. And horror movies, probably not very likely unless you believe in werewolves, ghosts, vampires, and zombies. Though I must admit once or twice I've thought I've seen a ghost.

Love is Powerful

2007-06-22T11:29:00.000-04:00

Love is powerful...
It makes you weak...
But enpowers you...
At the same time...
It gives you wings...
When you want to fly...
Gives you a feather pillow...
When you want to sleep...
It gives a massage...
When you have an ache...
Hands you a red rose...
When are feeling a little less than beautiful...
Feeds you chocolate...
When are feeling a little sad and blue...
It makes you soup...
When you are a little under the weather...
There's always a shoulder...
When you need to cry...
It puts a picture in front of your face...
When you have a big dream...
It believes in you...
When you can't quite believe in yourself...
So if you ask me...
What do I believe in the most...
I don't have to think twice...
The answer is love...
Because now that I found it...
I don't want to imagine a world without it...
Not even for a second...

One Way or Another...

2007-06-22T11:24:00.000-04:00

I'm a strong believer that I control my own destiny destiny. The fate of my life is in no one's hands but my own. There will never be anyone that decides what happens in my life but me. I've proved it before, and if I have to I will prove it again. I will never allow puppet strings to be attached to my back. So if someone is trying to control my fate, trust me I'll stop them one way or another.

It Glistens

2007-06-22T11:13:00.000-04:00

The water calls to me...
The water is glistening...
It is sparkling...
Like little diamonds...
Floating on top of the sea...

The water calls to me...
I hear it beckoning...
Whispering my name...
Over and Over...
Asking me to...
Dip in my toes...

The water calls to me...
Wanting me to feel...
Its sweet embrace...
Its smooth satiny touch...
And embrace it completely...

The water calls to me...
To feel the depth of its emotions...
Full some its void...
Its long arms outstreched...
I share its desires...
Feeling emotions I never knew before...

Only at the Movies...

2007-06-22T10:37:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wondered if somehow someway you accidently walked into a movie plot. But not at the beginning, but in the middle. And you were without the script. Somehow you were one of the characters in the movie. After a little while you realized that you didn't like the role you were written in this "suspense thriller". So you decided since you didn't have the script, even though everyone else did, you would do something to change your characters role. So as you've been going along, you've been making up your own lines. And you know you are making sure your character's fate is the way you want to be, the direction you want it to go in. After all that's only fair, because you never agreed to play the role the writers desired in the first place. In the process making the secret evil villain's plans out in the open. What the heck, why not turn suspense to comedy.

Life is Special...

2007-06-22T10:34:00.001-04:00

Life is special...
Something to be adored...
Every moment to be cherished...
Because you never know...
When that last moment will be...
It may be morbid...
But it's true...
So relish every moment...
Smell every flower...
Inhale every ocean breeze...
Skip with every step...
Love Life...
And those that surround yours...
Because you never know...
When it will all be gone...

Love is Enpowering

2007-06-22T09:40:00.001-04:00

Love is enpowering...
Love sets you free...
Some say it makes them gag...
But that's just jealousy...
Because they've never felt...
True love in all its glory...
Some say that love hurts...
But that's just because...
They've never given their heart...
Enough time to heal...
Some say love is waste...
But I just say that they are the waste...
Because there's nothing greater...
Than having that one true love...
To honor and cherish forever...
No matter what stands in your way...

Wings of Flight...

2007-06-22T09:08:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those beautiful early mornings that you wish could last forever. The sun is high in the sky, and is brightly shining. It's spreading its beautiful warmth for all who want to enjoy its bright glow. Before going to my desk this morning I took a quick walk to enjoy the sun's immense beauty. On my walk for the first time in several weeks I saw my friend, the bird with the broken wing. He or she is almost like a symbolic gesture. Whenever I'm having a moment of doubt in my life, I see the bird. It's amazing how whenever I question myself I see that bird. In many ways, he's my hero, because I realize if he still has his spirit to believe in himself, I have no excuses. After all, here's a bird with a broken wing still out there giving it his all. Just imagine what it must be like for him. To know what its like to fly but not to be able to. Can you imagine what that must to do to his spirit? But it's not even a thought in his mind, he just keeps on trucking.

Love Is Like...

2007-06-21T16:32:00.000-04:00

Love is like a bird's flight...
Because it makes you feel free...
Like you are soaring in the air...
Feeling the breeze in your hair...
Floating above the sea and the sand...
But nothing can make you feel worse...
Then knowing what it's like to fly...
And there's someone there that clipped your wings...

Love is Great...

2007-06-21T16:24:00.000-04:00

Love is great...
It makes you appreciate...
The everyday little things...
Like smelling the daisys...
And those sweet ocean breezes...
It makes you jump out bed...
Sing to yourself while walking down the street...
Maybe give you an skip in your step...
That extra squeak in your voice...
Then there's those butterflies...
How could somebody not...
Love every single minute...
Of being in love...
Falling head over feet...
For that one and only special one...

Musical Waves

2007-06-21T14:05:00.000-04:00

I love the lapping of the waves. To me it's like beautiful music. Perhaps a sweet lullaby or love song. Maybe it's a classical composition. Sometimes it can be an upbeat jazz tempo. All I know is that each time I listen to it, it's never the same tune. All day long the tune is constantly changing, and I could sit there and listen all day long. For this reason, I'm enchanted by its very presense. The only thing more beautiful than the water's music, is its appearance. I love the ocean's beautiful blue ripples. And the edges of the waves glisten like little diamonds. More than anything I want to touch it, feel its embrace. But I always find myself waiting for that long awaited perfect moment. Because something so beautiful deserves nothing less. The saddest part is that ocean has no clue about the true beauty that it posseses. Maybe that's just part of its charm. Perhaps it's the reason I love it so much. After all it's humbleness is irresistable.

Somehow We Believe Again

2007-06-21T13:55:00.000-04:00

One of the toughest challenges in life sometimes is believing in yourself. I bet you are wondering why do you think that. It's mostly because growing up we are taught not to. We are told that we are dreaming way to high and that we should find dreams within our reach. This frustrates us, makes us believe that there's something wrong with us. That we weren't good enough or strong enough to have what we dream. So eventually we just stop dreaming. On some level we stop believing in ourselves. If we are lucky we find something or someone that encourages us to dream again. And if we are trully lucky we find someone that believes in us when we don't believe in ourselves. There's no more special person in the world. And you should hold to them with all your might. Believe in them when they don't believe in themselves. Together you can dream again. Because then all of sudden you'll have your reason.

Somehow Someway

2007-06-21T13:43:00.000-04:00

Lately it seems that my blogs are a lot sappier. And the more I think about it, the less I can explain it. For some reason, it's like something snapped and I became a hopeless romantic. At first I was little but now I like it. In fact, I'm starting to love it. I'm starting to find it endearing that somehow someway I believe in love again.

Blue Wide Seas...

2007-06-21T13:29:00.000-04:00

The beautiful ocean blue water it calls to me... I can hear whispering my name... Asking me to jump into its wide arms... To feel it deepth... And to feel the reflection of the sun on its silky surface... But sometimes hard to just jump into the water... Perhaps I could go in one toe at a time... So I will be able to adjust to the water's cool touch... Hopefully I will eventually be able to fully emmerse myself in the ocean waters sweet touch...

Is A Dream Just A Dream?

2007-06-21T11:48:00.000-04:00

I think we've all had dreams, that make us question things. Make us ask ourselves if it's a secretly hidden message. A clue to see behind the obvious and look into the bigger picture. To be honest I've never really been one to look deeply into the meaning of dreams. After all isn't a dream, just a dream? I've never really been one to interpret my dreams mostly because usually I can't remember them at all once up. In fact most nights I don't remember dreaming at all. So if I suddenly remember having a lot of dreams. And there's one in particular that I remember pretty vividly, can it perhaps be something more. Perhaps a hint or clue for a mysterious puzzle that I must solve. One that's becoming more like a ticking time bomb with everyday.