My Revised Man List

I decided after one of my girlfriends put together a list of qualities in a man that it has been too long and maybe it's time to revamp my list a little bit.

Personality:

1. Honest and Sincere - We'll Duh there's a reason they say that honesty is the best policy. I let you in on a little secret. Women would give men a break more often they men realize. It's when they try to cover up their mistakes with lies that get them in trouble. Trust me if you admit when you are wrong you'll earn major brownie points. That's what separates the men from the boys. Though I have to admit there are two things under no circumstance will I ever forgive. They are probably pretty obvious; cheating, and abusiveness (verbal and physical).

2. Trustworthy - If he's not someone that I trust to tell all my deepest darkest secrets to (not that I have that many. Let's face it I'm not too good at keeping things to myself. My biggest problem is that I have no shame. I tell everyone everything)

3. Faithful, Loyal and Dependable - It's important that the person that I'm with is there for the good times and the bad. I'm an incredibly loyal person, I expect the same from anyone that I date. And yes if you abuse it I recommend you start running quickly. Well I think this one is pretty obvious nobody wants to date a cheater.

4. Down To Earth - I may joke that I'm named after a Princess, but I must be honest I'm probably about as far from a Princess you can get. It's kinda ironic that I joke around about that because Prissy Princesses made my elementary school experiences horrid. In the second grade, I used to jump rope with the geeky boys that got picked last in sports. Therefore, I don't want to date a princess.

5. Upbeat - He must have a positive attitude and a high level of energy. He must be an energizer bunny like me.

6. Funny - He should have a good sense of humor, and how to make me laugh. And appreciate my corny jokes and wacky sense of humor.

7. Intelligent not an intellectual snob - Brains are important but they are not everything you shouldn't look down on other people. There's nothing worse than someone who belittles someone else.

8. Talkative - I understand guys like to chill in front of the tube and watch ESPN, when they first come home. But I love to run my mouth and I need to be with someone that will put up with it.

9. A little bit goofy, perhaps maybe more than a little - This relates to the similarities last thing, of all the Disney Characters I relate best to Goofy. Lets face I'm a klutz. I am the chick who tripped over her own foot playing kickball in fourth grade and knocked out a tooth. And besides there are some pretty stupid things that come out of my mouth.

10. Can put up my bad impressions and has a few himself (See the goofy thing above)


Personal Self/Beliefs

1. Passionate about Life - He must love being alive and jumping out bed every morning. Especially when he has someone as special as me in his life.

2. Self-respect - I've learned how important it is to be treated with respect in a relationship, and expect whoever I with to understand that too. I don't want to be with a doormat.

3. Self-Confidence - Read not cocky. He should be comfortable enough to approach me. I'm not that hard to talk to. See above: Down to earth.

4. Knows the importance of self-development. You are never gonna get anywhere in life if you are not constantly growing mentally and emotionally.


5. Comfortable with himself - A guy should be comfortable with himself. I don't want to be with someone who wants to pretend to be someone else. It's one thing for a man to have all the qualities on this list, but another for him to use them. I'm mature enough to look behind the outside on a guy and see the man on the inside, but it's not do me or him any good if he cannot see it himself. This for those nice guys that pretend they are assholes, because they think that's what all women want. Sorry but only immature girls that want assholes, real women have enough self-respect to wait for a nice guy.

6. High Integrity - I want to be with someone that sticks to their guns. When I believe in something or someone I stick to it in thick and thin. I expect the same from anyone that I would have a relationship with.


7. The ability to Forgive - We all make mistakes from time to time. He may need the ability to look past some of the stupid things I say. One of my friends refers to them as backhanded compliments. And I'm sure he'll do some stupid things I'll have to look past. That's what a relationship is give and take.

8. Humble and Modest - I guess this may be another way of saying down to earth. But I figure it can't hurt to have it twice. Basically what this means is that his feet are planted firmly on the ground. Arrogance doesn't impress me much.

9. Has a high level of energy - I'm like the energizer bunny, so anyone I date should be able to keep up with me.

10. Handles Stress with ease - I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Life is too short to get stressed out over the small stuff.

11. Patience - Can we say duh yet again? Who wants to be with someone that's impatient. When they say patience is a virtue, whoever they are is right.

12. Has control of his temper - Let's face it angry people aren't fun.

13. Understands that a Real Man doesn't have to be a Macho Man- This is probably pretty self-explanatory. A real man doesn't always have to prove his masculinity every minute of the day. Manhood is not defined by how much money you make, what car you drive or how many women he's slept with. It's what on the inside that counts.

14. Understands that money is important but doesn't see the value of flashing it around.

15. Good Communicator - Another Duh! Who wants someone with bad communication skills. It's very important for someone to be able to talk and express themselves to have a relationship that works.

16. Is an optimistic realist - Another words he lives in the real world, not a fantasy world. But at the same time he sees things through rose colored glasses.

When in a Relationship

1. GETS ME - I guess what that means is a strong connection. You know one of those couples that can communicate without talking, you know can exchange a conversation with a few glances. I've always wanted to have a relationship with that type of connection with someone, and never have... You know chemistry, I think it's one of the most important parts of a relationship. Without it a relationship is doomed from start.

2. Capable of Interdependency in a relationship - Let's face it's the best of both worlds: dependant and independent.

3. Encourages me to be a better person and better myself - Do I really need to explain this doesn't everyone want this?

4. Open-minded - He must be willing to try things that I'm interested in once in awhile even if he hates it. If I can put up with his sports games, he can put with whatever silly interests I have, too. Maybe we can even find a silly one we'll both share.

5. Courteous and Respectful - Another one that doesn't everyone want? It's one of those things that goes both ways.

6. Accepts me as I am - If you truly love a person you like them as they are and you don't want to change a thing about them. I don't want to be with someone that I want to change either.

7. He's a gentleman - I'm a modern woman but it's still nice to have a man who opens doors and helps you put your coat on. It's about respect and it's little things that add up. I never realized before I was such a traditionalist. I guess underneath all I'm a hopeless romantic.

8. Good Listener - Not only is being talkative important but so listening. Otherwise it's just nothing more than a one way conversation.

9. Handles conflicts well - Who wants to be with someone that can't handle conflict?

10. Able to Express Emotions - It's important in relationship for the person to be express how they feel. Just like a man is not a mind reader neither is a woman.

11. Flexible - For any long term relationship to work it's important for both people to compromise. If not the relationship just won't work.

12. Romantic - Do I really need to explain? Just in case. A man should understand the value of romance in a relationship. And I don't mean buying overpriced roses. I mean the little gestures like remembering the little things like surprising me with one of my many favorite sweet treats, or a foot massages.

13. Knows how to find my warm fuzzy side - I guess this is a continuation of the last one. He'll have to go through layers of ice, regrettably. Yes there is a very warm fuzzy hopeless romantic in here. Yeah I hate to admit but I'm a closet hopeless romantic. Please don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to protect.

Goals And Dreams

1. Believes in the importance of Freedom both personal and financial. They are two of my biggest goals in life. Anyone that I would have a significant relationship with would have those goals too.

2. Dreams Big- He must be ambitious and have definite goals. He must have lofty dreams like me. If you can't be able to dream what do you have to live for. He must think there are better things to do in this world than become a couch potato.

3. Dedicated and Ambitious - I think this has been said before too, but again it doesn't hurt to repetitive. I respect someone who has ambition and goals in life and believes they can be successful.


Personal Values/Interests/ETC

1. Good Personal Hygiene - Duh, nobody wants to date someone that smells like the creature that's been stinking up the A train.

2. Understands the importance of culture. Enjoys art museums, plays and musicals, and music. Just imagine how empty this world would be without that stuff. If we want to encourage it's growth, we must support it.

3. Treat my family the way you expect me to treat yours -- Duh if you can't give my family respect I'm not gonna give any to yours. I know they are pains in the ass, in fact I'm the person to say it. But if you feel free to talk about mine, in fact I really don't care if you do, they do a lot to deserve it. But expect to hear me talk about yours when they are wrong, too. Turn around is fair play.

4. Is somewhat of history buff, we must learn from the past otherwise we are doomed to repeat it.

5. Likes To Clean - Someone is gonna have to clean up my messes in the Kitchen. After all, I'm not always so good at it. You know that whole ying and yang thingie.

6. Has a sweet tooth - I have a mouth full of them, he should have a few too. Besides he should appreciate my homemade chocolate chip cookies.

7. Loves to travel --Both here and overseas. I've always wanted to drive cross country. Actually I'd love to just throw a couple of bags in the trunk and hit the open road with no destination in mind. To me that's just ultimate freedom. Overseas obviously the usual Europe (Italy, France, England, Scotland, Holland, yadda, yadda,yadda), Australia, New Zealand (Yes, the Lord of the Rings did inspire me to wanna go there, but who could see the scenery in that movie and not want to go there), the usual Caribbean beaches, hmmm I think I need something more exotic. I'll have to come up with something.

8. Has a spiritual side to him, but not's religous.

9. Believes that there should be places where nature should be left alone and appreciated. Humans weren't put on this planet to destroy and deplete all it's resources. Wow did I just write that, I'm starting to learn a lot about myself.

10. Knows how to fix things or how to call to call someone who can -- Do I really need to explain this? If you can't fix it be man enough to call someone that can.

11. Like me is tired of opposites attract and is looking for a similarities last thing. In other words he's looking for someone that has a lot of these things too.

12. Reads this whole list and still isn't intimated by dating me. I know it's long. When can I say this time around I've decided not to settle. And my ideal man wouldn't want to settle either. Hopefully he has list just as long that I fit. Also realizes when he reads it that it's him. Oh and he also doesn't pick on my terrible spelling and grammar.

Optional Upgrades - Wouldn't it be cool if we could factory order new boyfriends like new cars. You know factory build with optional additional features. Unlike the other section section these are just as I think of them. I'm weird, I know I've been told, but then again what exactly is normal?

1. Beach house complete with tiki bar, huge deck, jacuzzi, and outdoor pool table.

2. Likes to play pool ---Is that a surprise after #1

3. Likes to share sunsets with someone special ---again is that a surprise after #1.

4. A house along a lake wouldn't hurt either like in Maine or Vermont couldn't either.

5. Appreciates the little things like feeding the ducks, shouldn't be a surprise after number 4. Besides they are so cute and fuzzy.